I live in the most glorious city in the world.
I love walking through its streets. Out and about running errands today, I felt the overwhelming is-ness of the people around me. A multitude of vibrant life. Every person I pass has something in their face that makes me ask myself questions: Who are they? Where are they coming from? Where are they going? Why? What to they do every day? Are they happy? Are they in love? Are they despairingly lonely? Are they excited by their daily life? Bored by it? Do they dream the same dreams that I do?
Lately, I have been deeply considering the relationships that I have with the people in my life. I have felt this sense of being adrift, unsure and without an anchor. I have never found it difficult to build relationships in general, but I feel that my entire life is being redefined, and with it comes a redefining of the way in which I relate to people.
What on earth does it mean to love the people around me? What does it mean to be free? To be passionate? To live my life in each moment with a great, resounding "YES!" ?
Is it possible to live a life that is truly fulfilling or will we always have to compromise a little bit? I feel as if I simply cannot place my finger on that vocation that makes me answer with complete acceptance from the very bottom of my soul. It makes me wonder if such a life of total alignment between our day-to-day occupations and our loves and passions is possible. Is there something out there in this wide world that I will awake excited to do every single day? Teaching is marvelous, it really is. It's completely rewarding. I love it. But does it strike me to my core and awaken my spirit with confidence and excitement? Some days, I really think that it is. Other days, I wake up with less certainty.
I ask myself these things each and every day.
Those people walking past me on the sidewalk here in Istanbul: do they ask themselves the same questions?
